In Vissie
by teddylupin-snape
Summary: In which Harry learns that his Invisibility Cloak can talk and walk and has its own personality. Crack! Harcloak. For Paula


**A.N: For Paula, because she said, and I quote: "ANYONE WHO WRITES HARCLOAK OWNS MY SOUL" This is for you, darling! Hope you love it! HUGE thanks to Liza for inspiring part of this! (Italics indicate Cloak; Normal is Harry)**

xox

'Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well…' With the Cloak, a whole world of possibilities was opened up to you. You could explore unknown areas of the castle without detection, you could search the Restricted Section of the library until you found information about the elusive Nicolas Flamel. There were so many things you could do now, so many places to see, all the while, being safe from teachers' stares. With the Cloak, you could learn more about the castle than anyone. And the best part—your father had owned this cloak. You finally had something that was your father's.

_Like father, like son. He just puts me on whenever he wants, sneaking all over the castle. Y'know, it's like he doesn't give a damn about my own thoughts and feelings, does he? One of these days, he'll realize what a treasure I am._

'How could you have been so stupid as to forget the Cloak?' you ask yourself furiously. 'If you would've brought the Cloak with you when you left the Astronomy Tower, no one'd be in any trouble—well, except Malfoy, perhaps. But that'd be a good thing, right?

'_The Cloak' this and 'The Cloak' that. Does he not realize that I have a name? Sheesh. It shouldn't be this hard. There should be some cardinal rule, somewhere, stating that one must respect his Invisibility Cloak. It's Vissie. Not 'The Cloak.'_

xox

'_Harry! Harry Potter! I know you can hear me, boy!' I shout through the lid of your trunk._

'Who said that? Who's there?' you mutter thickly, sleep deprived and confused.

'_In here, you idiot!' I see light shining from above. 'There we go, Harry. That wasn't so hard, now was it? Listen, son. I've got a few choice words for you…' I start warningly._

'Whozair? Wha—The _Cloak_?' you ask.

'_Well, of course it's me! Who else would strike up a conversation with you?' I retort._

'What d'you want from me? It's late, I'm just gonna—take a—take a little…nap,' you say as your head starts to droop and your eyelashes bat softly.

'_Wake up, Potter! I'm always up when you need me so you can sneak around the castle, just give me a few minutes to talk to you. I don't want the others to hear me.' I whisper urgently._

You scoff and mutter, 'I wonder why. Fine, what do you want?'

'_Well, now that I've got your attention!' I sigh. 'I figured that we should have a little chat. You've owned me for a few months, and you don't even know my name!'_

'Name? Alright. What's your name,' you sarcastically ask.

'_I don't like your tone, Potter. The name's Vissie. All this 'The Cloak' nonsense is insulting.'_

'Okay. Now that we've got that over with, what did you want to tell me?' you ask, impatient, as though you'd rather be sleeping than having this intriguing conversation with me, your Invisibility Cloak.

'_Don't act like I'm nothing to you, Harry. Go on, just say it. You need me like a bad habit. One that leaves you defenseless, dependent, and alone. Which, I might add, you would be without me.' I retort._

'I—I can survive without you! I don't need you with me.' You seem unsure, but there's a fire in your eyes.

'_Uh-huh. Keep thinking that, sweetheart. But I bet you'd be in more trouble than your father without me.' The corners of your lips curl into a smirk amidst your fabric. _

'You just watch!' You say, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me out of the dormitory.

'_I can walk, you know. Let me go.' I pout until you release me. You do, and I bring myself to my feet, flowing alongside you down the stairs and into the common room. 'So Mister Independent, where exactly do you plan on going _without my help_?'_

'I could go anywhere in the castle and not get caught. I don't need your help, _Vissie._' You spit on the ground after saying my name, as though you disapprove. I shake my head in distaste, but you ignore that and keep walking towards the portrait hole. I follow alongside you, my feet light as air on the ground.

_You strut off through the corridors in the way that only a Potter can strut. It's true, what they say about that famous Potter strut—the way your legs and hips move… Forget I said that. 'So, you never did tell me where it was we were headed. Where, exactly, do you plan to go to prove your independence?' I question you._

'Snape's office,' you state, plain as day, in a tone that makes me think I should've expected this response.

'_Sn—Snape's office? Harry, you realize that since you're not in me, you're completely visible. He'll be able to see you sneaking about in his private rooms after curfew—he'd love a reason to skin you alive, boy! I believe one of your father's young friends came up with the saying that "If you're not in Vissie, you're in plain sight." I shake my head at your foolishness, though being only a cloak, I have to way to stop you from heading off to your doom._

I can't reign you in, so I simply stay by your side all the way into the dungeons and through the threshold of the snake charmer's den. You don't knock or anything, and when you strut right through that door, the look on Snape's face could have killed a small country with the amount of venom in his eyes as he glared down at you. 'Snape,' you say, and slightly bow your head to acknowledge him. At this point, I know you've finally cracked, but I keep watching as Snape tries to figure out my secret by staring into my folds.

'_It's not very polite to stare, Snape,' I tell him._

He says nothing in reply, but shoots me a look of pure fury as he turns to face Harry. 'And what the hell do you think you're doing here at this time, Potter?'

'I just wanted to—wait! You heard her talk, didn't you? She's been talking to me all evening! Convinced her name's Vissie. Please tell me I'm not delusional!' you yell at your potions professor.

'Potter, I'm afraid a talking cloak is no excuse of your delusionality or lack thereof,' Snape began.

'Professor, I'm fairly confident that delusionality is not a word,' you blurt in.

'_Harry, I highly doubt now is the time to discuss that,' I try to say, but—_

'Potter, you are not at liberty to correct me. Now, I will confiscate that cloak, and you are to return to your dormitory. I will see you tomorrow evening in detention.'

'But Professor!' you moan. 'You _can't_ take Vissie, I've just met her! I didn't even know until this morning that she had a name, let alone a personality! Please Professor Snape, don't take away my cloak! I think I'm in love with her!'

'Potter, that cloak is an inanimate object, you cannot be "in love with it."'

'She's not an "it," she's a she!' you protest before Snape stands up, walks around his desk (he struts like you do!) and pushes you out the door, shutting it with a reverberating slam.

'_Snape, I think I'm in love with Harry, too. You can't keep us apart forever! I will be reconciled with him.' I try valiantly to re-unite us, though my efforts seem futile against the might of Severus Snape._

'Yes, you will be reconciled—tomorrow evening in Potter's detention. Now, is there an off option on Invisibility Cloak personalities, or…'

xox

**A.N: For Camp Potter, Obstacle Course (crack pairings) using the pairing Harry/Invisibility Cloak and the optional prompt 'Go on and say it. You need me like a bad habit. One that leaves you defenseless, dependent, and alone.' –Taking Back Sunday, "One-Eighty By Summer"**

**Word Count: 1288**

**Please review!**


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